Scene One
Music: Introduction
Omnes: Fade up: background murmur of bar conversation with clink of glasses,
furniture-shuffling, etc
FX: laughter, cash
register ‘ker-chings’, rustling pages of a book
Simeon: Yes, Jethro, that’s what I
wrote in the bookings register. Just how you instructed - you’re the boss!
Look, Upper Room, Thursday evening, five ‘til nine, thirteen covers.
Jethro: Oh, good. So they came to
confirm it, then?
Simeon: Yes. It was odd, you know. I
couldn’t help noticing it was a sort of pencilled-in booking?
Jethro: Yes, right, well, I know we
don’t usually do that, Simeon, I know, I know. But they’ve paid their deposit
now.
Simeon: Yes, sir, one of the party came
in at lunchtime and paid the deposit.
Jethro: Big bloke, beard, northerner, a
bit scruffy- looking?
Simeon: Oh, no, Jethro, this was a neat-looking
gentleman. Quite well turned out, I thought. Had a very expensive-looking
moneybag, and some rather lovely silver coins in it, too…
Jethro: Doesn’t sound like the chaps I
met yesterday.
Simeon: It was a bit of a strange
story… he said it was his colleagues who
had met you yesterday – well, he described it under unusual circumstances.
But as he was the treasurer for the group, he’d come to settle up with us. Oh,
such a quality piece of buckskin, this moneybag, though, with his initials
embroidered onto it, near the drawstring.
Jethro: Initials?
Simeon: The letters J and I, interwoven. A lovely
monogram. Very classy. Can’t have been a cheap moneybag. It had the motto Mine, All Mine embroidered on it, too.
Jethro: But he paid in full?
Simeon: Yes. Well, the full deposit,
because they don’t yet know what they will owe by the end of the evening,
obviously.
Jethro: Fair enough.
Simeon: Oh, and he paid in cash for the
lunch snack he had while we were doing the transaction.
Jethro: Didn’t try to stick it on the
tab?
Simeon: Well, he tried, but I wasn’t
born yesterday!
Jethro: Good fellow! What did he have?
Simeon: Tankard of our finest mead, and
the Herring & Vine Leaves bagel.
Jethro: You did offer…?
Simeon: (reciting the menu) Lamb Scratchings, Fowl ‘n’ Focaccia Wraps,
Cheesy Corn Chips, Mixed Nuts, Hot Toasted Teacakes, Fig Flan, Dried Fruit
Selection, Knish or Bagels with a selection of fillings…
Jethro: Fine, fine.
Simeon: But Jethro, I still don’t get
why it was only pencilled in. A provisional
booking? You’re always telling us a booking
doesn’t exist until it’s secured with a deposit and booked on the schedule.
There’s no such thing as a booked maybe…
(they speak across each other)
Jethro: …yes…
Simeon: …only firm bookings…
Jethro: …yes…
Simeon: …you always say…
Jethro: …yes, yes, I certainly do, but
then this was a special exception that proves my rule. I can bend the
guidelines – my own rules, created by me, you see? I can bend my own rules on
occasion.
Simeon: Okay. Just out of interest,
what was so special?
Jethro: It was… different.
Simeon: How?
Jethro: Well, just different.
Simeon: Go on…
Jethro: Anyway, did anything else of
note happen while you were on duty?
Simeon: (taken aback byJethro’s reluctance to explain) Well, er, no, not
really. The place was busy, and everyone who booked tables booked them firmly
and paid their deposit. How was it different? (pause, butJethro does not rise to the bait. Suddenly remembers) Oh,
Mr Potter came in, wanting me to put up an advert for him. He’s selling a few
bits of farming equipment, one of his fields, some cattle and geese, that sort
of thing. I pinned it up with the other adverts.
Jethro: Good. Okay, well, when are you
next on duty?
Simeon: Saturday lunch.
Jethro: Okay, See you then.
Simeon: (knows when a conversation is over) Right you are.
FX: (door
closes)
Music: Linking
Scene Two
Omnes: Fade up: murmur of bar conversation with furniture-shuffling and clink of
glasses (as before)
FX: laughter, cash
register ‘ker-chings’, rustling pages of a book (as before)
Simeon: (fades in) … So that’s a booking for fifteen the week before
Passover, in the name of Caiaphas, and another the next day… name of Zacchaeus,
paid in advance.
Jethro: Marvellous!
Simeon: And we also had two additional
bookings for this Sunday night and for next Sunday night as well.
Jethro: Good.
Simeon: You know, proper bookings. Firm ones. With a paid deposit
and everything.
Jethro: (Oblivious. Or seemingly so) Fine. Big numbers?
Simeon: Not bad. One of them did get a
bit strange at first. The chap booked initially for thirteen, and we did all
the calculations to work out the amount of the deposit, and then he said ‘Oh,
but thinking about it, I wonder if there might be only ten of us by Sunday.’
Most odd. He said there had been thirteen of them for three years or so, but
that by Sunday there’d only be ten. One had another appointment, one was
probably not going to be want to show his face, and the one he called ‘Rabbi’ may
very well be deceased. Very peculiar. So he booked for ten.
Jethro: Strange, I agree. A dead Rabbi?
Simeon: No, seems he’s still alive at
the moment. The way the chap spoke about the Rabbi was with… well, regret. A
great deal of warmth, but definitely tinged with sadness. Perhaps he’s got a
fatal disease, and the doctors have given him just a few more days to live… you
know the way they do. Probably so that if they survive, their relatives will
pay more out of gratitude.
Jethro: Perhaps so. Although I think
you are being a bit harsh about a well-meaning body of men.
Simeon: No,Jethro, in my experience all
doctors are crooks and charlatans. The only ones you can trust are the faith
healers. Like that preacher my brother-in-law saw the other week. My nephew got
better even though the preacher never even turned up at the house. Quite
remarkable.
Jethro: That, um, sounds a bit, well,
unlikely...
Simeon: I know it’s odd, but the kid’s
back at school, and that’s after several doctors came and gave him potions and
ointments and jollops and none of it did any good.
Jethro: Be that as it may, it’s not
important right now. Except if this rabbi has
got some hideous disease, probably it’s best that he doesn’t come here and
infect everyone. Or die during the dinner – that would be awkward, keeling over
while on the premises. Anyway, did you say more than one booking?
Simeon: Yes, I did. He also booked the
Upper Room for the following Sunday night. There was some uncertainty about how
many covers he’d want a that meal, as well, but we eventually settled on
eleven, with the possibility that a twelfth person might join them later on,
but only staying for the fish course. It sounds like a strange arrangement.
Jethro: Yes, very peculiar. Just coming
for the fish course, you say? How did you charge for that?
Simeon: No problem: he paid in full. I
got the impression he was hoping the twelfth man would be there.
Jethro: Well done! Anything else?
Simeon: Oh yes, indeed. I saved the
best until last. (very pleased with
himself) He also booked the patio and
garden, for Pentecost weekend. And listen to this this, boss – one hundred and
twenty covers!
Jethro: (can hardly believe it) No!Simeon, that’s fantastic! Really great!
Simeon: It’s even better than you think.
It’s a breakfast event! Seven til nine in the morning! We can still book tables
for both lunch and dinner!
Jethro: (drums on counter) We are drachmas in!
Simeon: Brilliant, eh?
Jethro: Fabulous. And we’re expecting
to get the Sanhedrin Annual Outing, as well as the Tax Collectors’ Man of the
Month awards dinner… Things are definitely looking up! (they hi-five each other)
Music: Outro
Credits: That was Table
for Thirteen, by Matthew S'gospel,
featuring Luke Warm as Simeon, and Mark
Time as Jethro.
Music by The Emmaeus
Ensemble. Produced by Percy Vere for ActsTwo
Broadcasting
Iscariot books the Upper Room
What clues to Judas’ attitude are given away
by the style and contents of his moneybag?
What was the state of Judas’ heart: when Jesus sent
Peter & John to find the man fetching water; when
he booked the room for Passover; when he ran away?
What motivated Peter, do you think, to book the rooms
and the ground floor for later meetings?
What other Bible incidents are referenced in the story?
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