Showing posts with label miracle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label miracle. Show all posts

Thursday, 10 September 2015

Right behind the burly bloke

Dear Martha,
       Hope all is good with you and Mary and all the gang at Bethany. I was very concerned to hear that Lazarus has been poorly (someone told me it was sleeping sickness?) Hope he’s better soon. Anyway, I wanted to tell you about this amazing thing that happened to me and the other girls when we were out with the Galilee posse for a walk.
       We came across a large crowd, who were milling about, trying to get near to the miracleman. I’ve heard that you might know him, and that he’s been around your gaff in recent weeks. Or is it that he’s a friend of Lazarus? Either way, you almost certainly know the man of whom I speak.
       It seems everyone was so enthralled by the teachings of this Jesus that they drifted, as crowds do, to that hillside out of town and listened to him all day.
       When I heard his voice, I realised it was full of authority and certainty, unlike any other Rabbi I’ve ever had to endure. His words were packed with life and hope. Hardly anyone noticed we’d all missed lunch until late into the afternoon. Jesus was so interesting to listen to, that no-one tore themselves away to go to the local all-day convenience store and buy a pastie or even a wineskin of pop.
       But tummies started to rumble (the tummy of the burly bloke a few seats in front of us rumbled so loudly we could hardly hear what Jesus was saying), so dinner was becoming rather more urgent.
       Up jumped some sweet little lad with a handful of cheap breadsticks and a bit of sardine flavouring, and offered it to Jesus for him to share out among the vast crowd. How foolish! I don’t know what he thought Jesus could conjure out of that, but it was a meagre lunch for the lad, let alone a grown man. Hopeless.
       But Jesus accepted the boy’s gift, blessed it with a simple prayer and broke it up for the disciples to hand round! It was quite obvious that this pathetic amount of food would never be enough. It might just have kept body and soul together for the boy until he got home, but it was of the size best described as ‘a mere morsel’. The burly bloke was particularly unimpressed. Anyway, if we hadn’t been so hungry, we would have dismissed the boy as a joke.
       By this time, the crowd was enormous: perhaps ten thousand people, including all us women and children. My friend Julia said she thought there was twenty thousand, but you know how much she exaggerates. I’ve told her a million times about that…
       We were invited to sit in groups (about 100 men in each group, plus all the women and children) and there were perhaps fifty groups, which my adding-up skill tells me there were 5000 men, which makes Julia’s estimate a bit on the strong side. But Jesus knew what he was doing, except he didn’t divide up the men from the women, or follow any of the other food laws – you know, washing and all that.
       Anyway, we were chatting while the disciples were busy with the people at the front.
       We knew we could always go home via Bar-Donald’s for a demi-ephah of fries and a quarter-bushel of Seven-Up. Or go to that Stuffed Crust Hut on the Piazza for a Margaret ‘n’ Peter (they should try to shorten that name, methinks) or a How/Why ‘Un. Or Kidron Fried Chicken for a hot wing or three. Some other people were preferring the idea of Boaz’s Kin Robin’s for some ice cream.
       But one of the disciples (the one called Simon – or is it Peter? They all look the same to me) came over to our group of fifty. We could see the food he had, and somehow there was enough for everyone in the front row, and there were about ten blokes and a similar number of women and children in each row. The food seemed to stretch and Simon managed to give lunch to everyone in the second row as well, even the big burly bloke (he’d pushed forward in all the kerfuffle), who took an extra-large portion. Greedy guzzler! We could see that there would never be enough by the time Peter reached us in the back row. But somehow, we all got a big handful of bread and enough fish to make it a very pleasant snack indeed. More than a snack, actually.
       How much nicer it would have been with a dollop of mayo or wholegrain mustard – fig chutney, perhaps – or just a grinding of black pepper! Perhaps with a few salady bits… But it was a generous meal, all the same.
       We ate the food and enjoyed it. Julia wondered if there was any more going, and amazingly, there were seconds! She stuffed her face (actually, we all had a little more), but despite this there seemed to be lots left over.
       The Greedy Guzzler wandered by, vacuuming up our leftovers, which was unpleasant to watch, as you can imagine.
Simon came to clear up the mess, as we sat on the grass digesting and wondering how this miracle of multiplication could have happened. You know, the disciples were putting large lumps of leftover food into their wicker baskets, and they’d filled a dozen of them without gathering up the crumbs at all. The really tiny crumbs would fall straight through the weave of the baskets, anyway.
       If it had been you, Martha, you’d have prepared a vast buffet for everyone. You’d wave the young lad away, perhaps with a disdainful sneer. There was no chance that his puny dinner would... and yet, somehow, Jesus had fed all these people.
       Jesus is even more amazing than we thought. He seems to have the grace to accept the smallest gift given with a generous heart - and bless it, multiply it and make it incredibly effective.
       My God, he’s wonderful!
       That’s all for now. Be great to see you soon, especially for one of your fancy dinners (we know you can always be relied upon to make a well-prepared slap-up feed!)
       Squeezy hugs from your BFF,

       Naomi

PS Have you noticed that Mary seems to have that annoying faraway look in her eyes even more often these days? Tell her to snap out of it!

5000 people benefit from a major culinary miracle

What inspired the boy with the meagre packed lunch
to give it to Jesus? What did he imagine might happen?

Why didn’t Jesus send the enormous and hungry crowd away
to get their own dinner?

How this miracle echoed in the way Jesus turned the water into wine?




Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Give all you've got, girl


So it all came to nothing, in the end, as she feared.
       There wasn’t anything any of them could do, except fuss and charge and fluster and give way to conjecture and wild assumptions and foolish experiments, all of which turned out to be utterly, pathetically useless. She had a feeling all along that there would be no possible outcome except the worst possible one, and she’s not usually given to pessimism.
       But when an apparently healthy young man of twenty-one years starts to be seriously sick and none of the doctors can do much (except send a bill) and the usual remedies have no effect, then a wife is entitled to become concerned, try everything she can and hope a bit, isn’t she?
       And then she’s allowed to be disappointed when leeches and potions and superstitious flim-flam all fail utterly, and he continues to deteriorate.
       She did what she could: she paid the doctors and gave her dear husband vegetable soup and her best optimistic-looking smiles.
       ‘At least you’ll have something to remember me by,’ he said one evening, as she sat by his bed and he lay with his hand on her belly, as they waited together for the baby within her to kick again.
       She didn’t reply. She didn’t know how to answer him, so she just smiled and once again willed the child to be a boy. That’s the least God could do – if Caleb was going to die, then please let his child be a boy.
       ‘Have you had any more thoughts about a name?’ he asked. ‘I thought, if it’s a girl, how about Rebekah, after your mother? Or Julia? What do you think?’
       ‘I shall call the child Caleb, after his father,’ she said, resolutely.
       ‘You’re so sure it’ll be a boy, aren’t you?’ Caleb laughed.
       ‘I’m sure I want to remember you,’ she whispered.
       She wept more than a little during those final weeks, as life ebbed slowly away from her husband – in direct contrast to the life growing within her.
       His funeral was a very painful event for her, as the folks gathered to mourn from their little village of Nain, along with some friends and relatives from nearby Nazareth. The procession was an ordeal, as she was heavy with child, and was destroyed inside. Less than three years after marrying this man, she was left with a wooden crate, a wounded heart, a fatherless child and the prospect of being a charity case (and that’s if she was lucky). Her tears were real, unlike those of the theatrical mourners and professionals.
       She gave birth to a boy, of course, and she called him Caleb, as planned. He was just like his father: dark, strong, sensitive, witty, energetic, full of questions and a joy to have around.
       As he grew, hope once again took up residence in their little house. Caleb made friends with the other children and loved to pretend to be the teacher, marching up and down in front of his ‘class’ of pupils, pointing at the imaginary chalkboard and freely quoting from Mr Benjamin, his real teacher at the village school.
       ‘The next boy who speaks will be sent to live with the lepers,’ Caleb would say in the deepest tones he could manage. Apparently, this was one of the teacher’s amusing remarks. Or another: ‘I have just three words to say about your work, boy: this will not do.’ Oh, how they laughed! Caleb grew strong and healthy, just as his dad had once been.
       One day, the boy and his mother were visiting the family in Nazareth and of course went to the synagogue on the Sabbath. It was a small place, but perfectly adequate for that gathering of God’s people. The Rabbi gave the welcome as usual, and some of the regular songs were sung and prayers said. Then it was time for the reading from the scroll and an unfamiliar young man stood to speak. His voice was strong and clear, and he pronounced the words with an impressive understanding.
       In fact, when he read from the scripture, it was as fresh and hopeful as if he was speaking his own words… He read that lovely piece about freedom for the prisoners and good news and the year of the Lord’s favour. You know the one - Isaiah chapter 6.
       Anyway, when he’d finished the reading, he sat down and started to explain what he had just read. He used strange phrases, such as ‘this scripture is fulfilled’ and then went on to speak about Elijah and miracles and ‘prophets without honour’.
       Some of the men in the crowd became seriously upset. In the end, they shut him up, marched him out of the synagogue and up the hill. The congregation rushed after them. This was a lot more exciting (as you can imagine) than the usual Sabbath service, which can be slightly predictable…
       When the crowd got to the top of the hill, there was a bit more chat and arguing. Caleb and his mother reached the place where the action was about to happen just as it all sort of fizzled out. One of the men of the synagogue was shouting about ‘throw him off the cliff!’ Others were clearly about to do exactly that when all of a sudden the young man wriggled free of the hands that were holding him, shook the dust from his feet, and walked away. He gave no defence, made no plea; he just pushed gently through the crowd. The people simply stood back and let him go, which was surprising since mere seconds before, they’d been clamouring for this ‘blasphemer’ to be hurled to his death.
       Nowt as queer as folks, as they say round these parts.
       Caleb asked ‘Why were people being nasty to that man, Mum?’ and she couldn’t find a way to answer him that honoured the synagogue leaders while paying appropriate respect to the man who had caused all the trouble. So she just answered somewhat dismissively.
       ‘Oh, I think there may have been a misunderstanding,’ or ‘they thought he had broken the law, but it turned out he hadn’t,’ or something. She could tell Caleb was less than satisfied with the answer, but he shrugged, accepting (as children so often have to) the familiar vagueness of adults.
       They returned home a week later, and settled back into their routine: the boy attended school and the widow reluctantly became resigned to accepting charity, although she used to till the ground outside the little house and grew a few vegetables.
       It was a Tuesday when Caleb came home from school and told his mother he’d had to have a bit of a sleep at lunchtime, as he hadn’t felt well. ‘Mr Benjamin suggested I should have a rest,’ he said. She thought it was all a little odd, but put it down to growing pains, or overexcitement or something, the way a mother does.
       But the next day, Mr Benjamin himself turned up at the end of the afternoon, bringing Caleb with him. ‘There may be something the matter with Caleb,’ he began. ‘He was having trouble listening in class this morning, had another incident at lunchtime, and then had to sit out while the other children played sports this afternoon. I thought I’d better make sure he got home alright.’
       ‘Thank you for your kindness, Mr Benjamin. Poor lad!’
       Caleb went indoors, so she was able to enquire further. ‘Another incident?’ she asked quietly.
       ‘Like yesterday.’
       ‘He hasn’t really explained what happened yesterday…’
       ‘He said that he felt a bad pain which came on very quickly. Fortunately, it seemed to dissipate just as fast, but I was quite concerned for a few minutes. I asked him to tell you what had happened…’
       ‘Well, boys will be boys,’ she said. She was not sure what she meant by this, but alarmed by what she was hearing. It seemed frighteningly similar to the early days of his father’s illness…
       ‘Thinking about it,’ Mr Benjamin said as he turned to go, ‘I suppose Caleb might be embarrassed to talk about it, or perhaps he doesn’t realise he was out cold for a little while. Anyway, I suggest you keep him at home for the rest of the week, in case what he’s got is catching. I don’t want a classroom full of children all unconscious, do I?’
       She didn’t know if he was merely making light of the situation, or being serious. Perhaps he was just exercising his tasteless sense of humour. But she rushed indoors to talk with her precious boy.
       By Thursday evening, she was certain Caleb was in trouble. He was feverish as he lay on his bed, arching his back and crying out from the pain. She felt wretched as he pleaded ‘Mummy, make it stop! Oh, make it stop!’ But there was little she could do. All their income (for which they were very grateful, but which was nothing more than meagre) went on food, clothes and schooling, so she could not afford doctors this time – not that she had much faith in them any more. So she did what she could: made vegetable soup and sat by his bed, holding his hand when he’d let her. She found it very difficult to raise an optimistic-looking smile.
       Yes, young Caleb was fading.
       He didn’t last beyond the weekend. By Sunday night, she was pulling the sheet up over his precious tear-streaked face, and making more funeral arrangements.
       ‘How can God treat me like this?’ she said to herself, not daring to pray, in case she expressed her true feelings. ‘I go to synagogue and say prayers and do the rituals and keep the laws and try to live like a member of the chosen race – although after this I think I must have been chosen for suffering, not for preferential treatment. Year of the Lord’s favour? I don’t believe it. Yes, yes, I shouldn’t rage at God for doing this to me, but the Lord taketh away seems to be the only bit of that scripture that applies.’
       The second funeral was even more of an ordeal than the first. It was unspeakably horrible. At least when her dead husband was buried she had a little hope within her – physically and emotionally.
       Now she was burying her dead son, she had nothing.
       After the synagogue service, they carried the little – oh, so little! – wooden box out to where the tombs were, outside the village, in order to lay the boy next to his father.
       A small crowd had gathered. Mr Benjamin had thoughtfully cancelled school that day, so all the children were there, with their families, many of them. Some of the younger children were enjoying their day off, but the ones who knew Caleb showed respect. Some were visibly saddened by the occasion.
       As the small crowd approached the place of the tombs, a group of travelling folks were coming the other way. One of the men saw what was happening, came up to the coffin and spoke with a remarkable mixture of authority and compassion to the widow.
       ‘Don’t cry.’
       Oh, she so wanted to stop crying, but her son and her husband were both dead, and this man was giving no reason to stop mourning them.
       Then he approached the coffin, touched it and spoke softly. ‘Young man, I’m telling you to get up!’
       She was about to get angry at this cruel, foolish poor taste, when, to her joyful amazement, everyone could hear shouts from the inside of the coffin! They could also hear hefty great kicks, which reminded the woman of the way her baby had struggled before he was born. The men carrying the coffin put it down, and as they prised the lid free, Caleb sat up!               
       ‘Are we playing hide and seek? I think I fell asleep…’
       She ran to him and smothered the poor lad with kisses. ‘You were very poorly, you know. Actually…’ She wondered if she should tell him he’d been dead since the night before? Perhaps that would not be a good idea. At least, not yet. ‘You’ve been really very poorly. But you’re obviously feeling better!’ She tried to hug him.
       ‘Oh, get off me, Mum! I’m hungry. Is there any dinner? Do I have to go to school today?’
       He noticed some of his school friends standing nearby. They were dumbstruck with amazement at what they were witnessing. But Caleb asked ‘Can I go and play with Manasseh? Let me out of this box! Why is Uncle Jethro here? I feel a lot better than I did yesterday. I must have slept it off or something. Yes, lots better, But I am peckish. I’d like some dinner!’
       By this time, everyone was smiling and several of the travellers were laughing at the way Caleb was so matter-of-fact. Soon the merriment spread to the whole crowd, and someone told the professional mourners to go home. Caleb pointed out to his mother (yet more childish self-centredness and exaggeration) that he was about to starve to death, so could he please have some dinner?
       It was all happening so quickly that the widow didn’t get a chance to speak to the travelling man who had so utterly changed her run of bad luck. She later learned he was a prophet-type from Nazareth, and someone said he had been rejected locally. One lady (a bit of a gossip, so don’t hold much store by her comments) said had been the young man they wanted to throw off the cliff…
       But the widow had to concede that this certainly was the year of the Lord’s favour, albeit after a pretty shaky start.
       She spent lots of money on a party for Caleb and his friends to celebrate his revival, and decided that (as soon as she could) she would travel to Jerusalem on a pilgrimage to the temple to pray prayers of thanksgiving. All the money she had left was put towards this trip – all her savings, everything. She knew she would have to work hard for the next few months to make ends meet but she reckoned she was organised and could manage things well enough to be able to get by on not very much.
       Caleb stayed with Manasseh and his family for a few days while she travelled. She had to pay Manasseh’s family a little for his keep and give her travelling companions a little (actually, slightly more than she’d expected) for the loan of the donkey and for food. So by the time she got to Jerusalem, she’d spent all her money and had nothing left to pay the temple tax. Not anything. She was completely without a single penny.
       This was a disaster – to have spent what she had, and to have come all this way and then no have coins to give as she entered the temple... ‘What would people think?’ she wondered. ‘I have nothing to put into those great brass trumpets.’ It was their shape that reminded people of fanfares: the sound they made was an impressive rattling as handfuls of coins were thrown in. 
       Fighting a rising sense of panic, she had a thorough, desperate rummage in her bags and eventually found two mites she didn’t know she had, tucked into a seam in a corner. She wondered if they would be an insult, but decided she could put them in. At least it would be something! She hoped no-one would criticise her, so she slipped into the queue, waiting to approach the trumpets.
       She so wanted to be able to give thanks at the temple for the life of her son as she was genuinely grateful to God for sending that prophet-type to heal young Caleb, and restore him to life. She desperately wanted to pray at the temple, and seek God’s forgiveness for her anger.
       Just ahead of her were five wealthy people, who were lining up to throw large quantities of money into the offering. As was the self-aggrandising custom, they’d changed their money into temple tax coinage – small denominations, to ensure that their giving would make the maximum amount of clatter and noise.
       She quickly stepped up to the offering-place, threw in her two mites and hurried into the temple courts. She was vaguely aware of some men sitting around and hanging about, but she didn’t stop to see who they were. She was glad she had managed to get away without anyone noticing what she’d done. If one of the priests had seen how little she’d given, he might have given her a lecture about generosity and even chased her out of the temple.
       But honestly, it was all she had. Could she be justifiably called a skinflint when her offering left her flat broke?
       She didn’t notice that one of the men watching her was the traveller-prophet who had raised her son from his coffin. And she never found out he had been the unfamiliar young man who had stirred up trouble for himself in the synagogue.
       ‘Shame I never got to meet him again, to thank him,’ she said to herself.

Already a widow – now her son has died too

What qualities do the widow, the teacher, and the boy exhibit? Which do you most admire?

How many times does the widow encounter Jesus (usually without realising it)?

Why does God pay far more attention to what we have left over, rather than the amount we give?

Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Cana Catering Co

The father of the bride was furious. ‘But how could it have happened?’
       ‘I am very sorry sir.’
       ‘Sorry? That won’t do!’ He shoved his hands into the pockets of his fine suit. ‘Look, I’ve got guests here who were invited to come from miles and miles round, and they are entitled to celebrate with me and my daughter and her new husband today and tomorrow and probably Thursday as well, but right now, thanks to you and your inept planning, I am embarrassed in front of them. My party has only just begun and I shall gain a reputation as a skinflint.’
       ‘I understand your irritation…’
       ‘You what? You have no idea of how I am feeling! I am close to becoming furious with you. I don’t know what to say or to think. Where is your boss?’
       The man shuffled and examined his feet. ‘He is out of town, sir.’
       ‘Well, go fetch him from wherever he is and mention my name and remind him that we made this booking some time ago, when my daughter was pledged to be married. Tell him what has happened and get him to arrange a fresh delivery by nightfall. We can discuss financial arrange-ments later, but I must be able to offer my guests a drink.’
       ‘But sir, I don’t know where he will be able to get more stocks so quickly…’
       ‘Be that as it may, it’s his problem, isn’t it? Go, now, before I lose my temper. Go! No, wait! Is there enough for everyone to eat?’
       ‘Yes, sir, the main courses are now all distributed but the palate cleansing course and the sweet course have not yet been served.’ He was skilled at thinking on his feet. ‘And the barbecue is still cooking the chicken, the lamb and the fish, along with flatbread, rice, mashed yams, couscous and some vegetables. And there is the cake as well.’
       ‘Well, then that’s good. So you’d better get going now! Be back before sunset, won’t you? We can eke it out if we are careful and serve half-glassfuls and ration what is left. This is ridiculous! How could it have been overlooked? No, don’t answer, just go! Sunset, I warn you… Go! Go!’
       The nervous man left, in a hurry. At the gateway, he was passed as another dozen or so guests arrived. They looked dusty, tired and thirsty, and were carrying their invitations in expectation. They had missed the main course, but they could always fill up on cake, thought the nervous, fast-thinking caterer’s assistant.

He returned to Cana, as promised, by sundown, arriving on a wagon loaded with several pitchers of low-grade, inexpensive wine hurriedly bought from a vineyard not known for quality. It was probably going to be inadequate, but his hope was based on the normal practice of serving the best wine first. Experienced caterers reckoned that once most of the guests had become slightly squiffy (or worse), bringing out drinks of a poorer quality would go unnoticed.

His wagon was unloaded by the team of waiters and servants. But the pitchers were immediately placed in the storehouse, and not, as he expected, brought in to replenish the jugs on the serving tables. He sought out the father of the bride (the master of the banquet), eager to show that he had returned, as promised, before sundown, and with supplies of wine. He was also eager to discover why the order had been given for the flasks to be stored rather than used to serve the thirsty wedding guests.
       ‘Tell me, what’s going on?’
       ‘Ah, you have returned… yes, well, that is what we said, I suppose.’
       ‘Yes, I have brought the wine I promised, ready to supply to the guests.’
       ‘But look, my dear fellow; the guests have all they require.’ It was true: there was no cup unfilled, and at every table there were several jugs filled with wine. Every guest appeared to have (at least) sufficient wine inside them, too.
       The catering assistant (CA) was confused. ‘How can… ah, I suppose you found reserves of wine while I was away?’ And then a fearful thought struck him. ‘Or perhaps you thought you should hire another catering supplier, just in case I broke my promise and didn’t return…’ His tone was moderately aggressive, as he began to become enraged, thinking he may have been double-crossed.
       ‘We found no reserves of wine, and we bought nothing at all from anyone,’ the master of the banquet (MB) said, reassuringly.
       ‘So where has all this wine magically appeared from, then?’
       ‘Funny you should put it like that!’ said MB with a smile. ‘What happened was that a dozen or so working men turned up as guests – they were invited, but they were not all people who are used to this sort of social event, if I can put it like that. I think they turned up not long after you went, so we had already served most of the food and drink, and evidently they were thirsty. Fairly shortly afterwards one of the guests spotted that we were running low on wine, but rather than mention it to me or embarrass the bridegroom, she spoke first to one of the dozen, who was, I think, one of her sons. But then she approached the servants and told them to do exactly what her son said.’
       ‘So, tell me, are your servants in the habit of obeying instructions from guests, rather than checking with you?’
       ‘As a rule, they are good and faithful servants, but on this occasion, they started to do what he was ordering.’
       ‘Makes little sense to me. But go on…’
       ‘Well, they were told to fetch the large stone jars we use to get the water for ceremonial washing…’
       ‘What the huge ones?’
       ‘Uh-huh, the ones that hold about 25 gallons each,’ confirmed MB.
       ’25 gallons? What’s that in real money?’
       ‘About 110 litres.’
       ‘Okay…’
       ‘And there were six of them.’
       CA was becoming increasingly amazed. ‘And they were all full up?’
       ‘Yes, he insisted that they should all be filled to the brim.’
       ‘So, go on… what did he do with 660 litres of water?’
       ‘Well he told one of the servants to draw off some of the water and serve it to me in a cup.’
       ‘Hang on – did you know about this water business?’
       ‘No, this all happened while I was trying to think of a way of telling the bridegroom that the wine was running out at his wedding. I knew my daughter would be livid when she found out. So I had no idea.’
       ‘And this servant gives you a cup of water, right?’
       ‘Well, not exactly.’ MB paused, trying to find a way of expressing what happened without sounding ridiculous. But he could not make his extraordinary tale conform to the description normal.  ‘He gives me this cup, and I think he’s given me a cup of water, and he knows he’s given me a cup of water, but when I taste the water, it’s not water at all!’
       ‘What?’
       ‘H’mm, not water at all. It tastes like the finest wine that I have ever had. It was bright, fruity, smokey and spicey, with incredible depth and complex flavour combinations, wonderful caramel aromas, a long finish of course, and characteristics of stone fruit with full-bodied bell pepper and flamboyant toastiness and voluptuous, supple tannins.’ His voice drifted off as he finished his description, knowing he had sounded over-enthusiastic, but also feeling he had not done it justice.
       CA had never heard anything like it. ‘How can a wine be both smokey and voluptuous? And caramel-flavoured pepper sounds pretty nasty to me. I fear your description does not…’ His tirade was silenced as a servant handed him a cup of the liquid under scrutiny.
       He sampled the aroma, and his expression changed instantly from cynicism to interest.
       He took a sip of the wine, and rolled it around in his mouth, letting the liquid flow across his tongue and gums, back and forth, encouraging flavour to invade his taste buds. His eyebrows gave away his surprise and pleasure.
       He drew air in through his mouth, allowing the wine to release its depth. He blinked in astonishment and eagerness as it delivered punch and delicacy, right across the board. His pupils dilated in delight.
       He swallowed the mouthful, and remained still for several moments as the long finish of smoke and gentle acidity completed its work. He smacked his lips and licked them.
       ‘That is utterly… magnificent,’ he said, with wonder and no little emotion. ‘It is the nectar of heaven; the rich pressings and treatment of the most perfect combination of grapes and crystal clear mineral-laced water I have had the pleasure to encounter. I’m shocked, amazed, silenced, astonished, delighted and very jealous.’ He stopped babbling and re-tasted the wine, once again savouring the quality, complexity and sheer joy it possessed and released in wagonloads.
       His rapture was such that MB waited, rather than continuing with the story. He signalled to the servant to refill the jug, knowing that CA would want to keep on tasting.
       Eventually CA asked ‘And you say this came from where?’
       ‘I was as astonished as you are. I had no idea where it had come from, but my first thought was to go to the bridegroom and congratulate him on storing up this astonishing wine, and then having the brilliance to save it for when the – forgive me – frankly inferior wine you provided was all gone.’
       ‘Nothing to forgive, my friend! Of course my plonk CCC provided is inferior! I would say that if there is another wine anywhere at any price that matched this one you have just given me, I would certainly not serve it at a wedding, but perhaps only at a coronation or similarly rare and royal occasion.’ A thought crossed his mind. ‘So the bridegroom must have been storing this fabulous vintage and has served it now; may I speak to him about obtaining some and perhaps meeting the vintner who has produced this champion of champions?’
       ‘I shall certainly introduce you to the bridegroom; but first, you have not allowed me to finish the story. You see I did not send you off on a wild rock badger chase, to fetch quantities of inferior wine once the original shipment ran out. My request – yes, demand – for more wine was genuine. When I spoke to the bridegroom, I told him how astonished I was that he had held this glorious nectar in reserve, because – as I explained – it is usual for hosts to serve the best wine first, and then bring out the vin de table once the guests have had plenty of the decent stuff. He shocked me when he denied having planned anything of the sort. He was as eager as I had been that you would fetch more wine. He has, like me, no idea from where this extraordinary, glorious vintage has come.’
       ‘I don’t understand,’ said CA. ‘You had no reserves, and the bridegroom had none either? I go chasing off across the countryside and rush back to Cana with flagons of cheap plonk, and yet meanwhile this superb wine turns up from nowhere?’
       ‘Not exactly nowhere. I was telling you about the ceremonial jars and the cup of water from which they drew them? Well, the guest with the pushy mother somehow performed a miracle with the water.’
       CA sat still for a moment, while the implication of this sank in. ‘So, you are saying he turned the water into wine?’
       ‘Yes.’
       ‘The water in the ceremonial jars?’
       ‘Yes.’
       ‘The six ceremonial jars, full of water, are now full of wine?’
       ‘Yes.’
       ‘So we have the most magnificent, glorious wine anyone had ever tasted, being served to slightly squiffy guests, just sitting around in six ceremonial jars, each containing 110 litres. That means we have 660 litres of wine. That’s…’ He paused as he made the calculation. ‘Eight hundred and eighty bottles of wine that could sell for a major fortune per bottle. It would, of course, be wrong to call it vintage, since it was only produced this afternoon. This is as nouvelle as a wine can possibly be! But that’s by the by, really. The flavour, depth, aroma, presence and finish are quite superb.  I think we need to work together on this. What we should do is to decant some more of one of the jars, so we shall be able to keep on serving to the top table and any guests who turn up tomorrow or Thursday, but immediately switch all the other guests to the cheap plonk I just brought in. Then we should take the ceremonial jars to my brother’s bottling plant, and have a label designed and lay down most of the bottles and start marketing the rest. We should sell a few cases at a time, to ensure the top people have a little of what they can be told is a limited edition speciality wine, since then they will become willing to pay top drachma for more. You and I are going to make a serious amount of wealth from this, my friend!’
      
No-one knows if their plan worked out.
       Except if it had, perhaps history would have known about it. And thus far, no-one has ever told the full story.
       Yes, the gospel writer John Barzebedee gave away some details, but he was more bothered about the identity of the pushy woman’s son, and missed the entrepreneurial main point. He was also very keen, it seems, to get on with the rest of the story, and so he kind of rushed over this one, which he threw away as a sort of throat-clearance in his eagerness to get on with the temple-clearing, healings, other miracles, speeches and sacrifice of the pushy woman’s son.
       Rumour has it that a well-known teacher of those days sometimes spoke about wine as being a holy symbol, and a drink of fellowship. Towards the end of his life, he even told his followers that the wine they were drinking at the time was the last taste he would have of the stuff until they were all together in heaven. This strongly implies that there will be fruit of the vine in eternity. But I cannot possibly imagine how Celestial Chardonnay, Glory Grigio, Heavenly Hock or even Kingdom Cabernet could be better than the Miracle Merlot we tasted this afternoon.
       And what you have just read, ladies and gentlemen, is the plain truth, told for the first time.

Wine runs out – who’s responsible for replenishment?

Create a graph plotting Quantity of Available Wine
against Time, emphasising key moments in the story

The caterer did his best to save the face of the father
of the bride. Why did Jesus feel the need to step in?

How is the way this miracle is performed
echoed in the way Jesus feeds the 5000?

What can we learn about God from this amazing miracle?